stairwell accompaniment:Patti Griffin

i have realized that i want things to be my fault...
if they are my fault, then i should have control over them.
if they are my fault, i should have the power to fix them.
and when i am not at fault, i must be still & quiet.
(something i am only just learning to do.)

there is something so alive in me that makes me want to fall down on the ground
and admit i dont have the slightest idea of how to really live. i am awake and it burns me. i know that i see it and it still makes me want to cry. yet to watch me move towards something beautiful wakes me up. awake, awake and halfway ready, finally
leaving them behind - they are dead. you are alive and i do love you.