brace yourself

stairwell accompaniment:Howie Day
And it's astounding how I can write about the most mundane events and occurances in my life and when the moments that I live for arrive (and leave), I so often hesitate to fit them into sentences. I survived (thrived on?) my first doula birth this week and Sarah danced through one of the most beautiful births I've ever witnessed to present us with the perfect Eve Marie: 6lbs 11 oz of life.
I'll conjure up all the words I can gather from my thoughts and feelings on the event...later.

But I can't undertand it. Today I wonder about him. And I can't explain how some moments he can make me feel undeniably beautiful and loved. And then there are the times when he can expose me feeling so very ugly and leave me feeling lost. Because now I feel that.