dice

stairwell accompaniment:Jet- Move on

In my search for something completely different tonight I found the journal I kept from 2003-2004. In the inside cover I kept various lists. On those historic pages of my life this was written:

Things I love-
sparklers, sweet potatoes, long skirts, fall, grilled cheese, sand on my feet, fleece blankets, colored tights, tea kettles, root beer floats, wood floors, going back to sleep, Damien Rice, sending postcards, no shower Saturdays, singing for AZ, grace, C.S. Lewis, fresh seafood, O'Soy, receiving cheap gifts, art films, headphones, Red Roobios Tes, Levi's nose, Guster, $20 of what??, road trips, white lillies, inside jokes, "I carried a watermelon?", pretzels from Dorothy Lane, Chai, wet grass, Fiji water in square bottles, pregnant bellies, memories that come with songs, pink skies, Irish Cream, Pentel Energel pens, stars, bonfires, wine on the porch, hide and seek, getting mail, Brennan Manning, chalk, wanting to remember, fresh starts, waking up in a new place, papaya, crunching leaves, breathing deep.

I want to-
prepare less, make more mistakes, burn more gasoline, travel lighter, limit umbrella use, stay barefoot longer, pick more flowers, climb more mountains, trust ruthlessly, be a leader, enjoy the silence, fear God, give more grace, sail, make snow angels on the beach, picnic, speak another language, accept the past, not ignore pain, marry without shoes, snorkle, fake an accent well, always keep a journal, always have someone to serve, find similar souls, be blown away.

And if I made these lists once again today...what would they say?

Abba- I surrender my will and my life to You today, without reservation and with a humble confidence--You are my loving Father. Set me free from self-consciousness, from anxiety about tomorrow, and from the tyranny of the approval and disapproval of others. I want to find joy and delight simply and solely in pleasing You. Make my inner freedom a compelling sign of Your presence, Your peace, Your power, and Your love. Let Your plan for my life gracefully unfold one day at a time. My heart and my confidence are set on You.